The Saltshaker
by philoSOPHIA
Summary: Illiteracy can lead to the death of star-crossed lovers.


The Story of the Capulets and the Montagues  
  
This is the story that explains how the feud between the Capulets and the Montagues came to be. I found the play in my basement stuffed in a box that was titled "W. Shakespeare-Rejected Plays tthat are embarrasing and badliy writen". I don't know how it got in my basement but here it is, unspoiled in all its beauty.  
  
Scene I. Verona Street. [The Verona street is full of people going to where they need to. Enter Lord Capulet and Lord Montague. Capulet is on his way to the Apothecary.]  
  
Capulet: Good evening, how's the wife and kids?  
  
Montague: Wife and kid. The new baby was stillborn.  
  
Capulet: I'm sorry. That's very unfortunate. I wish you better luck next time. Here, this will make up for the disappointment. Two days from now I am holding a feast at my home. It would please the Lady Capulet and I if you would come.  
  
[Capulet enters the Apothecary's home. It is small and dusty and is filled with strange dead animals hanging from walls. The whole place has a very pungent smell. Rags and foggy glass bottles are sitting on a table. The whole atmosphere is unpleasant.]  
  
Capulet: Ugh, it's so dank and dreary in here. Oh god, a crocodile! Hello? Is anyone here?  
  
Apothecary: Good, respectable Lord Capulet, how can I help you? Might I add, that is a fine cape you have!  
  
Capulet: Quiet! I don't want anyone to know I'm here. [He pauses and looks around suspiciously even though they are alone in the room. He speaks in a hushed voice.] I need a poison. One that kills quickly. Also, I'd rather not have anything messy.  
  
Apothecary: They all ask for the same thing when they come here. The rich, I mean. I have just what you need.[Aside] I like the rich murderers better than the poor because the rich pay me a lot more for the same poison.  
  
[Brings out a red sack containing the poison. Lord Capulet takes it and holds it up to the greasy window which is letting in only a bit of dingy yellow light. He keeps it at arms length as if it is something dangerous, which without a doubt it is. He then glances at the Apothecary with a bewildered look.]  
  
Capulet: It looks like table salt.  
  
Scene II. Capulet's Home, two days later. [ Servants are rushing throughout the house, knocking each other over in their rush. Among them is Capulet who is very distressed and is walking around frantically.]  
  
Capulet: Have you seen a small red sack lying around? Just a small bag. It's very important that I find it!  
  
[ He asks around and one by one servants answer that they haven't seen it. Time passes and guests arrive.]  
  
Capulet [To Tybaltio, his nephew]: Look, here comes Giorgio but I can't find the poison with which I intend to kill him!  
  
Tybaltio: Have you searched everywhere? Oh, hello Lord Montague! Sit down.  
  
Montague: Hello, this food is good. [Pours more salt on a large steak and stuffs the food into his mouth.] Alas, I die! [Montague dies and slides off of his chair. Capulet and Tybaltio stare at him in shock. Just then, a servant runs passed the guests and kneels closely to Lord Capulet.]  
  
Servant: [Whispers] Lord Capulet, I've found the sack you have been searching for! I... [Gasps as he spots the body on the floor.]  
  
Tybaltio: [ Tybalt gives the servant a long suffering look. He looks in the bag] This is salt. It says it on the bag.  
  
Servant: [Looks at the ground] I can't read.  
  
Capulet: [Glances around uncomfortably as people begin to stare and murmer.] Then where is the poison?! [Looks down at the salt shaker on the table.] Oops.  
  
[Montagues begin to gather around until they realize what has happened. A fight breaks out.]  
  
Lady Montague: A curse on your family!  
  
Capulet: No, a curse on your family!  
  
Lady Montague: May your descendants die by the dagger! Capulet: Well, I hope death from poison will be a frequent occurrence in your family!  
  
And so the Capulets and the Montagues sealed the destiny of their unfortunate descendants, Romeo and Juliet, because of an incident involving a salt shaker. The moral of this story is that illiteracy can lead to the death of star-crossed lovers. 


End file.
